Blog Challenge: Day 10

Today I am feeling very...pregnant. Just thought you might like to know. On with the show.

Today's topic: Discuss My First Love and First Kiss

This is so tender. :) I'm pretty sure my first and true love was french fries. I think I came out of the womb asking for them and haven't looked back since.

Oh..not that kind of love?

Ok. My first love was named Devin. He is my mom's best friend's son. We are the same age and were raised together since birth, with our moms telling us we were going to be married someday. I really did think I was going to marry him. We planned our lives through the game of MASH.. you know the one, right? It decides for you whether you're going to live in a mansion, apartment, shack or house..haha. We decided we were going to have 4 kids, drive Jeeps and live in Maine. I was going to be a doctor and he was going to be a policeman. Sounds like a pretty sweet set-up to me.

How romantic.

Maybe that's why I started kissing him when I was really young. I'm not sure how old I was when I kissed him for the first time, maybe 7 or 8, but it continued for years. We didn't live in the same state by that point so it was only on the occasions we would see each other, and I promise it was very innocent. We would pretend we were movie stars and kiss with big theatrics. It's hilarious when I really think about it. We did get in trouble for locking ourselves in a room alone together once. My little brother wanted to come in and we wouldn't let him, so he told our moms, who assumed we were doing something shameful. I'm pretty sure we were just lying on the bed talking about our future in Maine with our awesome Jeeps.

I got butterflies when I saw Devin, even up until the last time I saw him, which was in 2004 I believe. He's super cute and was always so good to me. Every time I saw him he had a cute little present for me, like kissing bears, a bracelet or blocks that spelled "I Luv U". He constantly told me I was beautiful and the only girl for him. Too bad he was raised in Las Vegas and turned into a hot mess. Drugs and hot guys don't mix.

I have kissed lots of boys in my day..some I dated, some I knew 5 minutes. The first time I felt a literal spark when I kissed someone? My Danny boy. Once I loved him I knew he was really my first love and the first kiss that really meant something. So I promptly broke up with him. Like 5 times. Aw, love.

Blog Challenge: Days 8 & 9

I missed my first day of blogging last night! I worked all day and went straight from work to do dinner and games with some girls from my old salon and our men. It was so much fun but I didn't get home until 1:00 am so I went straight to bed! I will tackle both topics today though!

Day 08: A Time I Felt the Most Satisfied with My Life

I wish I had written this yesterday. Yesterday, I would without a doubt say right now. I'm the most at peace with myself that I've ever been. I'm the happiest I've been in my realtionship. I love what I do and where I work. I have great friends. I have close relationships with almost everyone in my immediate family. I'm really loving being pregnant. I'm so excited to meet my baby girl. I own my own home and love making it mine. I feel overall comfortable. Things are just really good.

Today though, I'm in some unfamiliar territory. My steady, peaceful foundation is feeling a bit rocked. I so hope it stays as great from now on as it felt yesterday. :)

Day 09: How I Hope My Future Will Be Like

I swear I talked about this already on Day 2 when I listed where I'd like to be in 10 years.

I just hope my future is happy and healthy. I want to be years and years down the road being proud of where I am. I don't want to look back in regret, wishing I had done more or less of anything. I hope I will still have a fun and loving marriage. I hope I have close, open relationships with my kids. I hope my kids are normal, happy and successful. I hope I have a home filled with love and laughter, not fighting or unhappiness. I hope I'm healthy and haven't gained 100 pounds. :) I hope my husband is healthy (and hasn't gained 100 pounds).

How's that?

Blog Challenge: Day Seven

My Zodiac Sign and If I Think it Fits My Personality

Well who knows anymore? Some crazy person decided that the signs were changing this year. I think it's pretty funny. You would think Nostradamus was back and predicting total annihilaltion the way people freaked out. I like what Bill Maher had to say about it:

"If you're panicked because your zodiac sign just changed to "Ophiuchus", and
now you don't know what your traits are...let me help: you're a gullible
dumb-ass."

I was born a Gemini. If the changes were true, I would now be a Taurus. Lame. I'm still a Gemini. I suppose the description sounds like me, but I'm pretty sure I could relate any other sign's traits to myself as well. Here's what it says about me (if you actually read this next part..you really are a champion):
Gemini is the third sign of the zodiac, and those born under this sign will be quick to tell you all about it. That's because they love to talk! The driving force behind a Gemini's conversation is their mind. The Gemini-born are intellectually inclined, forever probing people and places in search of information. The more information a Gemini collects, the better. Sharing that information later on with those they love is also a lot of fun, for Geminis are supremely interested in developing their relationships. Dalliances with these folks are always enjoyable, since Geminis are bright, quick-witted and the proverbial life of the party. Even though their intellectual minds can rationalize forever and a day, Geminis also have a surplus of imagination waiting to be tapped. Can a Gemini be boring? Never!

Since Geminis are a mix of the yin and the yang, they are represented perfectly by the Twins. The Gemini-born can easily see both sides of an issue, a wonderfully practical quality. Less practical is the fact that you're not sure which Twin will show up half the time. Geminis may not know who's showing up either, which can prompt others to consider them fickle and restless.

They can be wishy-washy, too, changing their mood on a simple whim. It's this characteristic which readily suggests the Mutable Quality assigned to this sign. Mutable folks are flexible and go with the flow. Further, the Twins are adaptable and dexterous and can tackle many things at once. It's a good thing, too, when you consider their myriad interests. The downside of such a curious mind, however, can be a lack of follow-through. How much can any one person do, anyway?

They are quick-thinking, quick-witted and fast on their feet. Geminis are both curious and clever. Although they talk a great game, they also love to listen and learn. Any social setting is a good one for a Gemini, however, since these folks are charming, congenial and love to share themselves with their friends. At work, they are the clearest of thinkers, looking at a project from all (well, at least two) sides and putting forth some logical and well-thought-out ideas. This quality makes Geminis an asset to any team. It's also the Gemini's literary bent that allows them to offer a useful perspective on most any situation. The Twins also enjoy bringing their objective reasoning and big-picture ability into their personal relationships. While some may perceive all this logical thought as cold and unemotional, it's simply how these folks tick. They want to connect, they just do it their own way. Luckily for Geminis (and their pals), their lightness of spirit and youthful exuberance help them to appear forever young. In keeping with that skip in their step, Geminis enjoy short road trips -- and their agile minds and nimble hands ensure that they could change a tire (if needed) in no time flat.

They love the camaraderie of games and play, which is why they excel at team events. Whether it's volleyball or a game of charades, Geminis are always ready to play. A book club would certainly stimulate their literary minds. In the game of love, Geminis are playful, flirtatious and endless fun. Physically speaking, Gemini rules the nervous system, which is why Twins should practice yoga or deep breathing techniques. The great strength of the Gemini-born is in their ability to communicate effectively and to think clearly. Adventures of the mind are what the Twins are all about. They also love to share themselves with their friends, and they make for charming companions.

Blog Challenge: Day Six

Ok so last nights post wasn't a hit. :)

Let's turn this beat around!

30 Interesting Facts About Myself

1. I'm pregnant! :)
2. I have a shoe obsession. I covet cute high heels and never wear them.
3. I cried for days when my 5th brother was born because I just wanted a sister.
4. I have a horrible memory, but I'm just beginning to realize it.
5. I'm terrified of heights. Hardcore.
6. I LOOOVE spicy food.
7. I grew up wanting 4 kids, married a man with kids and decided I wanted zero, then settled on 2 being the perfect number for me.
8. I've never been able to do a cartwheel.
9. I want to give my cats away... but I'm not heartless enough to do it.
10. I hate winter. I think snow is great at Christmas but I would love to live in 85 degree weather all year long.
11. I hate bugs and spiders and won't even get close enough to them to kill them.
12. My parents didn't come to my wedding.
13. If I had extra money to spend, it would definitely be used for traveling. Too bad there is never extra.
14. My favorite color is red.
15. I grew up convinced I was going to be a pediatrician.
16. I have no idea what changed my mind and made me think to go to beauty school.
17. A lot of people were upset when I went to beauty school and told me I was too smart for it.
18. I will only let people take my picture on my good side..thats the right.
19. I fell madly in love with running before I got pregnant, then was told to stop doing it by my doctor.
20. I want to run a half marathon by 2012.
21. French fries are my life's weakness.
22. I love Diet Coke, but only from a fountain.
23. My husband is lucky to be married to me.
24. I think I'm hilarious, and I'm pretty sure the huz is the only one who fully appreciates my humor.
25. I'm terrified of being fat for the rest of my life.
26. I've watched Dirty Dancing probably 50 times.
27. I'm allergic to shellfish but crave it all the time. (The allergy was acquired when I was 15.)
28. I have a 6th generation middle name and I don't want to keep it going... but D wants me to.
29. I won't touch feet besides my own. I'm the only person at my salon who refuses to do pedicures.
30. I'm going to try childbirth all natural! Woo hoo!

Ok those might be lame but I just thought of the first things that came to mind. Have a lovely day!

Blog Challenge: Day Five

I'm beginning to wonder why I picked this blog challenge. These topics are pretty heavy for a sarcasm filled blog like mine. However, I'm up for a challenge. I'm not ashamed of the way I feel so there's no reason not to write about it. After today though, it's all love! If there is anyone reading this though, please comment! I like to know who's actually reading my thoughts and feelings! Don't be scared!

This next post is by far my life's most personal story. I am not ashamed of this particular time in my life. Some of you know this story, some know parts of it and others know nothing. There is not one person alive that knows the entire story so there is lots more to be said about it, but by the end you will know more than enough. I don't share it to get pity, because that's the one thing I don't want. I share it so that people realize there are real problems that real kids go through at lots of different ages. I think more people need to talk about it.

Day Five Challenge: A Time I Thought About Ending My Own Life

I was 11 the first time I tried to kill myself. I had gotten to a point in my life that I wanted to be done. I thought I couldn't possibly take it anymore and my only option was to die. Obviously, I wasn't successful at my attempt.

I was in sixth grade. I had somehow convinced myself that I had become friends with the popular group of girls at school. I sat with them at lunch, I played with them at recess and I even had sleepovers with them on the weekends. I suppose some might call that friendship. I thought so. One day, however, they all stopped talking to me. Just like that. I had no idea what I had done, I just felt panicked and afraid. A few days later a boy in my class came up to me and told me he had heard I was a lesbian. I had no idea what he was talking about and he just explained that that's what everyone was saying. Sure enough, it was. The entire grade (and I'm sure others) were talking about it. My so-called friends had been the ones to start the rumors. I suddenly had zero friends. I would walk alone, eat alone, sit alone at recess. People would point and laugh at me. I was called horrible names. The people I thought were my friends laughed about it and pushed the rumors further. I honestly had no idea why it was so bad to be called a lesbian, I just knew that no one wanted to come close to me or be my friend.

On it's own, I might had gotten over this. I like to think I would have been able to handle making new friends and moving on. What destroyed me is what was going on away from school.

For a number of years, including the time I was going through this at school, I was being regularly physically and sexually abused by someone my family knew well. No one knew about it. It was just me and my abuser in a sick little game. I was threatened with the immediate death of both me and my parents if I told anyone. I believed it entirely. I lived my life in terror. I was afraid to be alone, afraid to sleep, even afraid to shower. It consumed me.

I saw myself as worthless. I hated myself, no one else could possibly love me. I didn't know how to lift myself up. I needed something that I couldn't grab hold of. I felt a shadow over me all the time. I sobbed every night as I tried to force myself to sleep.

At 11 years old, I felt I had no where to go. I was alone in my darkest place. Instead of telling my parents and watching them face certain death, I knew my life would be the one less missed. One day, I swallowed a bottle of pills. I uncontrollably threw it up shortly after.

I'm not really sure how I did make it through. A large part of me surviving gets credited to the girls that became my friends later in the year. They took me in and loved me, no matter what the other kids said. I'm still friends with those girls and I can't even express how grateful I am for them.

I know that what I went through at that part of my life shapes who I am today, but it certainly doesn't define me. I feel lucky all the time that I ended up a happy, healthy person. My life could have gone in a very different direction. I do carry it with me, but now I walk over it instead of letting it hang above me.

Blog Challenge: Day Four

I'm glad I got some of my readers back! Check out the comments of my last post because there are some different views on the maryjane issue and my final thoughts too. :)

This next post is probably the hardest to put words to. I probably shouldn't write about it because I don't want to offend or upset anyone. But, since I told you all I support pot, what more harm can I do..haha. Again, these are my experiences only, but ask Daniel his anytime you want. :)

My Views on Religion

The most simple way for me to put this: I don't know.

Having been raised in a strict LDS household, I grew up believing I knew the truth because I was told it was true. That was that. It just was. My dad is super outspoken about his unwavering faith in the church. His dad, my Grandpa, has held pretty much every calling, from stake president to patriarch to temple sealer. The only time I ever see my dad cry is when he talks about his testimony. My mom is a convert and is equally firm in her beliefs, but less in your face about it.

We didn't have a house that had nightly scripture reading or Family Home Evening though. We knew what our parents believed, we all went to church every week and we knew what we were supposed to believe as well. It was all pretty straightforward. I loved going to Young Womens because I had fun.

I specifically remember when my first issues with church came up. I was 15 and upset because my oldest brother was allowed to go on a mission. He never should have and I knew it, and I hated that they let him go anyways. (I will interject that for both my older brothers, I now believe missions were the best things that happened to them at that point in their lives. They both ended up much better people because of it.) That's the first time I started taking advantage of not being "forced" to go to church.

I did continue going for the most part and even after I moved out, thanks to my wonderful roomate aka Becca, I even tried a singles ward. That might have been a mistake. It was a meat market and I hated the way the people there made me feel. I wasn't pretty enough for the men to look at or talk to and I was young and a threat to the women so they would just give me dirty looks. Church wasn't supposed to feel that way. That's when I stopped going altogether.

Now, even though I didn't go to church, I still believed in it. I fully planned on getting married in the temple. That was the only option in my brain.

Then it happened. I read a book. That book made me read another book and then the more I read the more questions I had. I've never been good at the term "that's just the way it is". I always want to know WHY that's the way it is. I want answers. From questions came issues. From issues came a new way of seeing things. And from that came the end.

I respect religion. I have said many times that if I were to go to any church, it would be back to the Mormon church. I appreciate the values it teaches. I respect where I come from and what my family believes. I won't say anything bad about the LDS church because there is no reason to. I have no problem with it. I think religion in one of the healthiest things a person can believe in. It gives comfort and peace to people.

All I know for sure, is that I don't know. I don't talk about religion only because I can't tell people what I don't know. I do know that for me, it doesn't play a role in my life right now. I am open to the thought that one day I might drastically change my mind. I just don't see my mind changing at this point. I am by no means a radical in any direction.

So there you have it. My vague views on religion.

Tomorrow's post might be the most depressing, but after that, we should be all positivity for the next topics. Love you all! :)

Blog Challenge: Day Three

(Hi Erica! Thanks for being my one remaining reader! :) This one's for you haha.)

Today is about: My Views on Drugs and Alcohol

*Disclaimer: These opinions are mine alone..for Daniel's, you will have to ask him.

I grew up in a house that was strongly against all drugs and alcohol. It wasn't just because I grew up in an LDS household, but also because my parents had personal backgrounds with both substances. My dad was a recreational drug/alcohol user in his high school days (that's what those stake presidents sons get themselves into). He started dating my mom shortly after high school and she told him she would not marry him or continue dating him unless he cut out everything and became the man to take her to the temple. He did, and obviously, they did.

My mom's experiences are much different. She grew up with an abusive, alcoholic father and from the effects of that, she never got involved with it in her own life. She is the most anti drug/alcohol person I've ever met.

The reason I give those backgrounds is so that you understand how I was raised to view these things. I think the only downfall to being raised in a house that was so passionately against it was that it made me more curious about it. You would think that it would make me never want to touch the stuff, but I think it had the opposite effect. In high school I lived kind of a double life. With my closest girlfriends, I went to young women activities and stayed clean. With a few other friends who didn't cross groups, I experimented with drinking and mild drugs. It wasn't much because I had a constant feeling of guilt associated with what I was doing. I think the main reason I even did it at the time is because I was running from other parts of my life and trying to cover up the problems.

After high school I stopped any drugs altogether, but drinking became something I played around with more. I went to parties and Vegas with friends far too many times.

The thing is, I come from alcoholic blood. It takes A LOT of alcohol to get me drunk. I have never understood why people drink just to get drunk. First of all, most alcohol tastes disgusting. Why force yourself to drink crap just to get sloppy and not know whats going on around you? That's not to say I didn't do exactly that, but everytime I thought it was ridiculous myself. It didn't really take me long to realize I was over it.

So now, I don't drink. I see no need for it in my own life. I don't judge those that do (obviously I can't), but I just don't need it. I will admit to the rare occasion of having a margarita with good Mexican food, or a glass of wine at a dinner party, but beyond that I'm just not interested.

I will say this about drugs. I am 100% against drug use, with the exception of marijuana. Just to clarify, I DONT SMOKE POT. But, I see less problems with that than addictive and harmful cigarettes. I believe one day marijuana will be legal and I think it should be so it can be taxed and regulated.

So that's that. my long ramble about my own experiences with drugs and alcohol. We are still friends, right? :)

Blog Challenge: Day Two

Two days in a row. Booyah!

Today's topic is: Where I'd like to be in 10 Years

This is a tough one for me. For anyone that knows me, you know I'm not much of a planner. Sure, there are certain things I plan out in advance: vacations, meals for the week, monthly budgeting. That's about it. There are a few things I hope to be true in 10 years though.

1. I would like to have 2 happy and healthy kids
2. I would like to be working a little less and at home a little more
3. I would like to be living comfortably enough that my family and I can travel and enjoy various vacations together (although this might be hard if #2 is to be true)
4. I would like for both myself and Daniel to be healthy and in shape, living as active a lifestyle as we can
5. I would like to have a normal, healthy relationship with my parents and my family as a whole

That's about all I can think of, honestly. I know there are bigger goals I should have for my life over the next ten years but I like to keep it simple. :)

What about you? Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Blog Challenge!

Hello Strangers..aka.. the 2 people that might read this blog.



I'm going to blog this month! I know, you'll believe it when you see it. Well guess what? Along with everyone else I am going to do a 30 day blog challenge. Because I'm not much for following rules or traditional format, I'm just going to start it right now in the middle (almost end) of the month!



Here's the deal. I write about a different topic everyday. Easy enough.



Here's my topic list in case you wanna get all sorts of excited for the days to come.


Aren't you just dying to know my feelings on some of those topics? Cause I am. (Although I will be changing a couple of them (Tumblrs? Huh?) Here we go!

Day One: My Current Relationship

I am married. 4 years now. To a champion. Someone told me today I totally scored in the husband department and I would have to agree. Daniel is my very best friend. My mom has asked me a few times what I see in him and I cant never adaquately explain why I feel so strongly about him. I just love being his wife. I have known quite a few friends and family who ended up in marriages that weren't great. I've heard everything from it not being an equal partnership, to not sleeping in the same bed or being able to hold a simple conversation when in the same room. I feel so sad for those people because that's not how life should be. I feel really strongly that marriage should be based on friendship first. Obviously, there HAS to be more than that, but if I didn't consider Daniel to be my friend, I think we would be screwed. One day my amazing good looks will fade and Daniel won't be such a hot ticket anymore and then what will we do? I truly enjoy my time with Daniel, even the days I want to punch him in the face (and sometimes I ask him if I can..and he lets me). I would never claim to have a perfect relationship. We argue, we disagree on a lot of things and there's always...something. But I also laugh every day, hold my husbands hand every chance I get and fall asleep every night next to a man who I happen to know would do anything for me. My current relationship is good.